Ian Glazer

Tornado, Nato, and other traffic causing disasters

I moved this weekend…

Editorial Note: Moving sucks. Here’s why… that nice solid coffee table that you like so much, well guess what, it ways 2500 pounds, is cumbersome, and cannot fit in your new apartment. Another example, that freight elevator in your apartment is always in use and slower than walking.

Moving does have some advantages. People bring you beer… beer good.

… well at least the move is over.

Stats from the move:

* Most stylish mover: Viv, for her appearance in heels and with pet
* Best use of the dolly: Kate wheeling around Heather
* Best driver: Josh, a real trucker
* Best moving company: Yoko Ono Movers Inc… just ask us for a reference
* Best almost gift: the Wandering Jew plant
* Universal way to carry things: Like a table… except for tables, which need to be rolled like a spool.

Back to your regularly scheduled madness…

Beaver Fever

Quick, without looking at your feet, which one of the following is more
important: a) bombing an army hell-bent on erradicating a whole people or b)
catch two to three beavers hell-bent on erraditcating all of the cherry trees
on the Tidal Basin?

If you answered c) waiting for Star Wars to come out and figuring out which of
your friends is most likely to wait out for tickets, then you answered
correctly.

The weather is getting warmer… and we all know that warmer weather brings
out cherry blossoms which bring out every looney-tune tourist in the world. I
am forwarding a great email on tourist rights in DC.

Spin, Sprang, Sprung

Is it spring or winter? This alternating between seasons has got to go. I am
tired of hear news flashes about snow that melts before it hits the ground.

So I want to talk about “spinning.” Have you heard of this? Here’s my
synopsis, even though I have never done it, I have heard a bunch about it and
witnessed its destructive capabilities. So I guess it involves a resistance
bike, a drill sergeant, and lots of biking. It seems like a great workout…
until you stop. Let me tell you I saw what happens when you stop… all those
muscles that you were just working, shrink, no not shrink, but implode. Ask
Dianne about her experience.

At any rate, most of you missed a good time (Not related to the Good Times
virus) last week. It doesn’t look like it is going to rain/snow/hail/younameit
on Tuesday so come on by Toledo Lounge.

I’m Not Going to Rant

I’m not going to do it… I am not going to waste valuable calories typing on
and on about Valentines Day: The Global Conspiracy between Hallmark and FTD…
I won’t even blabber on about how Fox is one of the smartest networks in the
world: see how they have strung along viewers of the X-Files for years.

No, I won’t be ranting today.

Instead, I will let musician Lou Reed rant for me. Check out
http://www.loureed.org/news/index.html A great rant about the whole
impeachment thing.

There is a disturbing trend I need to inform you about… Toledo seems to be
closing early. Apparently, written somewhere behind the bar is an equation
which factors in the number of people working versus the number of patrons in
the bar. This equation is a profitability equation… and I am here to tell
you that the last two weeks Toledo Lounge closed early b/c their magical
equation told them to. I take a bit of blame for this… I have been
unavailable for the last two weeks.

So, let’s try to put some bodies in Toledo Lounge on Tuesday around 9.