By the time we got to Woodstock (Ian as Josh)

So Ian’s out of town again, which puts me back in charge of this little
missive.

This weekend I ended up in, of all places, Woodstock, which resulted in
several observations.

1) Woodstock is not what it once was…or at least it’s not what I
understand it to have been. For starters, there should be no food
court.

2) Kids these days (wow do I sound old) are really angry. Hence, Limp
Bizkit and Korn were huge, as was Rage Against the Machine…I just
don’t understand what a bunch of kids who paid $150 for a ticket,
andother couple hundred bones for a prime camping location, and then
drove up there in their SUV’s to pay $7 for a burger can be so angry
about.

3) A lot of these kids have no problem walking around naked…but to
show their freedom like at the original…just becaust they thought it
might be cool.

4) When almost a quater million people are drunk, stoned, and burning
stuuff, it’s time to go home.

4a.) Unless you;re the Red Hot CHili Peppers, in which case you start to
play “Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire”

4b) If you;re the bass player for said Red Hot CHili Peppers, it’s OK to
do your entire set naked, because your bass covers most of the crucial
elements.

5) There probably shouldn’t be another one of these.

6) The guy that plays Mini-Me (some people laugh, others need an
explanation) is really, really, really little.

Atlanta by way of Richmond

Things you never want to hear from your airplane pilot… “Folks, we don’t have enough gas to circle for the next 40 minutes, like ground control at Dulles wants us to. So, we are going to land at Richmond and wait until we are cleared there.”

Why couldn’t we land at National, I thought to myself… ‘cuz that makes too much sense.

An insightful comment:

“No wonder why people worshipped a Jewish carpenter.” – Josh upon our 25th unsuccessful attempt at hanging a picture frame.

How were people’s weekends? I was in Atlanta, and the last few times I have been in Atlanta there have been disasters. One time a Cessna tried to land in the middle of the major highway. This time there were tornados. Simply, I shouldn’t travel.

Leave Tex and Barbie Alone

No real reason for the subject line…

At any rate, welcome to another installment of my insanity.

Since turn-out has been low lately… though credit to Fitz for thinking about coming out… I am going to fill this email with vaguely related info.

Josh has completely moved out of his old apartment with the help of many friends and late night packing runs. The interesting thing, I am told, about moving at 3 in the morning is that you always get the elevators when you need them.

With Josh’s help, I crashed the National Press Core Dinner on Saturday… saw some interesting people (gratuitous name dropping to follow):

* Collin Powell – who seems to be everywhere I go
* Val Kilmer – with dorky hair
* Ron Silver – who at one point was heard saying, “I’m sorry General Powell, I don’t speak yiddish that well.”
* Henry Kissenger – who plays a mean game of 3 man
* Rev. M.C. Hammer – Stop! Hammer time.
* Gov. William Weld – He’s taller than I thought
* Sec. of State Albright – She’s as short as I thought
* Barbara Walters – What hair.
* Sam Donaldson – who was ranting incessantly to some other reporter
* Wolf Blitzer – There wolf.
* Peter Jennings – who served Jeff a drink from behind the ABC bar.
* A radiologist named Zellis

Tornado, Nato, and other traffic causing disasters

I moved this weekend…

Editorial Note: Moving sucks. Here’s why… that nice solid coffee table that you like so much, well guess what, it ways 2500 pounds, is cumbersome, and cannot fit in your new apartment. Another example, that freight elevator in your apartment is always in use and slower than walking.

Moving does have some advantages. People bring you beer… beer good.

… well at least the move is over.

Stats from the move:

* Most stylish mover: Viv, for her appearance in heels and with pet
* Best use of the dolly: Kate wheeling around Heather
* Best driver: Josh, a real trucker
* Best moving company: Yoko Ono Movers Inc… just ask us for a reference
* Best almost gift: the Wandering Jew plant
* Universal way to carry things: Like a table… except for tables, which need to be rolled like a spool.

Back to your regularly scheduled madness…