No, this doesn’t have anything to do with Ian an my calls to the Vice
squad when there are Johns in our alley…it’s all about Hawaii.
Here’s the deal; Ian’s on his way, as we speak, to Oracle’s little
extravaganza in Hawaii, with stops in LA and San Francisco. I’m not the
least bit bitter about this, and you shouldn’t be either. Here’s why.
For starters, it’s been warmer here than there…and less rainy.
Secondly, I’ll have a parking space while he’s gone.
Thirdly, who wants to spend that much time on planes?
Fourthly (I know it’s not a word…humor me), he’ll miss the first ever
Tuesday night at Toledo Hula party.
OK, there is no Hula party, but come to Toledo anyway. I’ll buy drinks
for whoever does the best immitation of Jack Lord.
Yes, it’s me. I’m in DC long enough to write a Tuesday Night.
I’ve been busy… honest. I was on Jury Duty. Let me tell you, there is no better place to people watch than DC’s Jury Pool. I had a judge who would always stress the word law whenever he spoke. “Your job is the matter of fact, and when it comes to the LAW, that’s my business.” And he would shout law like a deranged loony.
Things I have noticed about jury duty:
* Judges do not find out funny when a jury member stands up and scream in their best Rob Schneider a la Sly Stalone a la Judge Dredd voice, “I am the law!” This is probably because the judge is the LAW and not the jury.
* The Husher is a device used by judges to prevent the audience and jury from hearing bench conferences. The Husher is a white noise generator that sounds a lot like Channel 56 in Boston after 2 in the morning. I asked to change the channel, but since the judge’s job was the LAW and not entertainment, he did not.
* Pants are optional if you are a judge.
Which brings me to ERP. For those of you at the party, you saw my friend Ken bring his Evil Rum Punch. Ken was banned from making his ERP when a guest at one of his parties had a hallucinogenic experience. Needless to say two cups of ERP and I was done… not that that stopped me.
A big thank you to all who came to the party.