Now I know what Veruca Salt feels like. Yes, I’ve turned into a bloated blueberry-like bowling ball. For the last three weeks, I have done nothing but eat, sleep, and drink. I have eaten: goose liver, rabbit, lamb, grouse, cookies, cheese (cheddar, sex, brie), cheesecake, cow, and much much much much more. I have drank: red wine, beer, malt liquor, vodka (oh, so much vodka), tequila, sake, champagne, and much much much more. As for sleeping, I have been hibernating. In fact, I knew that I was going to be sleeping so much, I put in curtains in my bedroom to keep it darker.
I started to get concerned about my recent behavior when I woke up with my face in a 50 pound sack of U.N. AID rice and a bottle of Old English 800 in my hand.
Well, we have made it into 2002. The world is still in one piece, more or less. Hope all your New Year’s Eve plans were fun and exciting.
In other news, I have won the My Team game. It is over. I won when I was in Miami. I saw a big (6′ 1″, 225 lbs) black transvestite. It was wearing an appropriately large red unitard and carrying a tall walking stick whilst dragging its belongings in some roller luggage. The hair. Did I mention the hair? Bleach blond fro that put mine to shame.
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