Friends, I guess the best way to sum up two years of comes from a sage of our day, Rick Rockwell, “This journey began when I went looking for love on a television show.” (Sidebar: I believe that Rick Rockwell has an evil twin brother Bruce Beefslab and they will for a wrestling/comedy duo like Penn and Teller. There will eventually be a Fox special on “When men with overly virile last names attack.”) Two years have gone by since Josh and I began patronizing Toledo Lounge. A lot has happened in this time and I just want to recap a few choice moments:
* Clinton did not have sex with that woman.
* We had something like 8 storms of the century.
* Y2K came and went with no casualties.
* The bad season came and went with casualties.
* The bubble never burst on Wall St.
* “The Canadians have completely co-opted ham with Canadian bacon.”
Needless to say, I have enjoyed sharing a little bit of my insanity every Monday for the last while. I hope you have had fun too.
Reasons to come tomorrow:
* The 2 Year Celebration… including special guests, like Nile Rogers
* It’s Leap Year Day. How often does that happen?
* Mardi Gras. Beads, booze, and body shots!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, not one, not two, but three remarkable reasons to come on out tomorrow night. Suzie has said she is planning something good from the bar. We will bring the lemoncello.
As Josh pointed out it is Tom, and not John, Landry. Somewhere in my head that got all mixed up.
Have you seen this one kids? Fox’s Who Wants to Marry A Multimillionaire? So 50 women, who recently got cut from some Arabian prince’s harem, prance about on stage for two hours and at the end of all that, a judge, or possibly, vote from the home audience selects the lucky lady who gets legally wed (as suppose to illegally wed) to the Mystery Bachelor. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why America is the best place on earth. This is also why the entire nation is going to hell in a hand basket. I think the show should be called, “Who wants to see how much cash they can get before the prenup kicks in?” What if the bachelor is… say… Larry Ellison, that kid from The 6th Sense, or even Ray Lewis?
In other news, the Wine Expo was this weekend. Imagine, if you will, a group of twenty people clad in either a) a leather jacket b) something black or c) all of the above. No, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a new gang roaming the streets harassing widowers for stock tips. This is yuppie herding at its best. What to wear to a wine expo is a tough question. Twenty of us lumbering down to the Regan Building was just too funny. At the Fest d’Grape, there was all sort of silliness to be had. There was, in fact, good wine, cheese, and ham… though the ham guy wasn’t there the second day. You got to hear a lot of guys posturing themselves in front of their dates saying things like, “You know, I far prefer this 97 to the 96 because the fruit is much more forward and the wine as a whole is more approachable.” You also got to hear people, like myself, say things like, “You know, I far prefer this 97 to the 96 because the fruit is much more forward and the wine as a whole is more approachable.” And then there were some people, the best ones to watch, who said things like, “Me like wine… ‘specially in glass.” A good time was had by all. Continue reading "Yuppie Herding"...
I knew there was something else I needed to add…
People ask me, “Ian, why do you like Warren Zevon?” I, typically, answer something about his ability to write biting sarcastic lyrics…
From his latest album- Life’ll Kill Ya
My Shit’s Fucked Up
Well, I went to the doctor
I said, “I’m feeling kind of rough”
He said, “I’ll break it you, son
Your shit’s fucked up.”
I said, “my shit’s fuck up?
Well, I don’t see how–”
He said, “The shit that used to work—
It won’t work now.”
That, ladies and gentlemen, is a man with his finger on the pulse of this world.
The beauty of this digital age is that anyone can make a movie. Todd, Josh, and I had a great idea for a movie… a monastery of venture capitals whose main pleasures are martinis, pre-IPO companies, and motorcycles. Each monk would have his specialty like, The Evangelist, who would be a marketing machine, with a penchance for sailboats and gin martinis. There would be the Brother Bean, counter of the beans… making sure that you books are in order and the coffee is fresh roasted… There is endless room with this idea.
So much to write about… none of it makes sense. Did everyone else like the dancing monkey eTrade ad? I thought it was the best one out there… otherwise the Superbowl ads were a waste of time and effort.
In other news, Josh has been on a quest to make liquor. There is this drink called lemoncello… it’s Italian. Jess raves about the stuff. Well, Josh found a recipe. It involves lemons, lots of lemons, and grain alcohol. It about two weeks we’ll have a sampling at Toledo.
We went shopping on Saturday… that was a mistake. The combination of pre-Superbowl and ice storm was just brutal at the old Safeway. People are far to serious when it comes to shopping. They have this face like, “If you squeeze one more of those lemons, I’ll beat you senseless, drag your body to the dairy section, and leave you for dead.” Check out lines are great places to work on new material. I think we have perfected ability to have a funny conversation and watch people around us try not to crack up.